Tag Archives: 幽默

Oo,Mygod~~~

2013.09.01 , , No Comments 596 views

Learning-to-ride-bike

BMX-bike-sign-post-swing

准确数字An Exact Number

2013.08.31 , , No Comments 542 views

1338773599712

A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.

      "How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.

      "Exactly one hundred million and three years old.

      "How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.

      "Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.

      一位游客在新墨西哥游览。他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。

      “这些化石有多长的历史?”游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人。他是作向导的。

      “整整十亿零三年了。”

      “你怎么这么肯定?”游客问道。

      “哦,”向导回答道,“一个地质学家来过这儿,他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了,再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”

您的大衣着火了

2013.08.21 , , No Comments 597 views

Your Coat Is on Fire
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.
The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!

您的大衣着火了
老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言,告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50,如果是特别重要的事情,要先数到100。 第二天,当老师背靠着火炉讲课时,发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然,全班学生一起喊道:九十八,九十九,一百。老师,您的大衣着火了!

Rope or Ox 到底是绳子还是公牛

2013.08.20 , , No Comments 578 views

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home.
But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!
I told you I had bad luck, didn't I? the man sighed, The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.
绳子还是公牛?
在监狱里,一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说:“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候,看到一根脏绳子,以为没人要了,便捡起来带了回家。”
“但是,捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”
“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气,“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

I CAN GO HOME

2013.08.14 , , No Comments 592 views

One day after school the teacher said to his students, Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home earlier. The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, Who did it? Please stand up! It's me, said Bob, Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.

 

我可以回家了
一天,放学以后,老师对他的学生们说:明天上午,如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题,我就准许他或她最先回家。第二天,老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟,他非常生气的问:谁涂的?请站起来!鲍勃说:先生,是我,现在我可以回家了,再见!

A Soldier’s Brilliant Idea

2013.08.07 , , No Comments 50,314 views

Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.

 

英语幽默:士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招

由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。

然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡,特预设该位置,谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过,他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。

又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。